Jack of All Trades
by HoneyBee137
Summary: Naruto has worked as a receptionist, personal trainer, waiter, tech support, cashier, tour guide, and... as a porn star. He has had many jobs, some are just more dignified than others... Crack. AU. NaruSasu. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1: A Man of Many Talents

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto… but Sasuke is tied up in my closet…

**My Beta:** Randomonia21 (I love you!)

**Warning:** Hot man sex in the near future. This is a crack fic with little to no actual plot and there might be a slight case of OOCness in this fic too. I'm planning on making this fic dirty, so be prepared!

**Before You Read:** This is where I got my inspiration from: I had an issue with my TV so when I called the Direct TV's hotline to fix it, this super sexy sounding guy picks up the phone… only to burp half way through the conversation. *sighs* Such is life. But yeah, enjoy my crackish creation!

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**Chapter 1: A Man of Many Talents**

…

"Hello, you've reached Direct TV's tech support. My name is Naruto; how may I help you this evening?" The words spilled from the blonde's mouth with effortless joy lining his every word.

As a college student, Naruto needed a part time job to keep himself from not becoming _too_ dirt poor. A guy's got to eat after all.

This was by _no_ means Naruto's first job, and it certainly wasn't going to be his last, but it _was_ his first day actually answering phone calls by himself without being under the supervision of another employee. He'd already had four successful phone calls that ended with happy customers and he felt like he was on a roll. This fact contributed to his animated tone as he clicked his headset to answer another phone call, cracking his knuckles in preparation for his rapid typing on the chunky white computer placed on the slightly cluttered desk in his teeny-tiny cubicle.

"Hey, I'm having trouble downloading a program from the 'on demand' section this service provides," a man's silky voice drawled in a slightly distracted and impatient tone.

The honeyed tone sent shivers down Naruto's spine, his palms breaking out in a sweat. The voice made Naruto wonder if a phone sex company had called him as a joke or not.

"Mhm, alright, can you explain to me what happens when you try to download your program?" Naruto put an extra effort in making his voice sound appealing, wanting the caller to be as affected as he was.

"Whenever I try, a box pops up saying 'error 77-15-64-126', I tried resetting the system, turning it on and off, and even checked to see if was connected to the internet. Everything else is running smoothly except for this," Naruto pressed the headset further into his ears to hear more of that exquisite voice, appreciating every syllable that sounded in his ears.

"Ah, this is a simple problem that I can solve from my computer right now. Can you tell me your box number so that I can reset it from here and apply the appropriate changes?" Naruto bubbled up with excitement at the notion that he was appearing smart to this unknown owner of a positively mellifluous voice.

"Hn, its number is 123-137-243-967-855," the numbers were spoken in a rapid fire succession and poor Naruto could hardly keep up.

Naruto's fingers paused in their typing of the code and he bit his lip before asking, "I'm sorry; could you repeat the last two sets of numbers please?" Naruto scratched the back of his head in his embarrassment, wishing that he'd paid more attention to what was being said than the hypnotic lull of the customers tone.

"It's 967-855, you dumbass," Naruto took the time to type in the numbers into his computer swiftly before he could comprehend the whole of what was said.

The blond flushed up to his ears with rage and the sting of the insult and sputtered, "Wha-? That's just- You _bastard!_"

"Hn. Just fix my TV, idiot." The nerve of this guy! Who the hell does he think he is saying all this asshole-ish things in that velvety voice?

"I'm getting there! Fuck! No need to be such an impatient asshole about it! Damn!" Naruto's voice rose in his fury along with his hands, he flailed them above his head as if he was trying to prove a point to his computer since the bastard wasn't there with him personally.

"Excuse me? Are you that much of an ignorant fool that you would curse over the phone to a paying customer? I have no qualms in filing a complaint with your superior you know," Naruto's mouth snapped shut so quickly that he was sure the clacking sound had carried through the phone.

"Whatever man; just let me do my job without being a dick about it, okay? You do _want_ to watch your precious show or whatever you're downloading, right?" a sigh was heard on the other line and them a monosyllabic "hn" was heard and the blond got to work figuring out why the dick wad's TV was on the fritz.

"Okay, just hold on for a sec while I get this fixed for you," and with that the blond got to typing furiously on the key board, resetting the bastard's downloading connection and making it workable again.

"There. It should be fixed now so try ordering what you wanted again just to make sure it goes through," his voice was smug and accomplished sounding. He stretched his arms above his head and leaned backwards in his chair to stretch out his back.

Just then the bastard's order popped up on the screen and Naruto choked violently on his own saliva when he read the title of the program the silver-tongued asshole was in the process of ordering.

Now, Naruto had had _many_ jobs.

He was an orphan and had grown up tossed about in the foster care systems that left him scarred, both physically and mentally. He'd managed to pay for his college on his own because of the fatty scholarships he got thanks to the epic sob story that was his childhood, but as he acknowledged before: a guy's got to eat.

So that led a naïve, eighteen year old Naruto, to go hunting around for some quick and well-paying part time job, and since he was so young and gullible, when a man came up to him asking if he wanted a modeling job, the blond had said a big fat "Hell yes!" and had gone with the man with a skip in his step.

Imagine his surprise when he came onto a porno set.

A _gay_ porno set.

While the 'action' was still happening.

After thoroughly _freaking the fuck out_, the unexpectedly persuasive director had managed to make him sign a contract of at least one performance. A week later, after getting tested for any scandalous diseases, the blond was getting oiled up and prepared for his loss of 'ass virginity'.

The movie was a threesome, and Naruto was the middle spot. Meaning he was the one getting pounded into the mat of the martial arts gym where the scene had been set, while his dick was being rode on.

The acting itself was _beyond_ atrocious.

Naruto played the part of an advanced student that stayed late after practice and happens upon his sensei and a younger less experienced member of the gym, having it out in the middle of the dojo. Naruto, of course, just _had_ to join them in their activities, and had played the part of a blushing virgin rather well. Thinking back on it now, it wasn't acting; it was how he would've really acted in that situation, except he probably wouldn't have wanted to join them as much as he would've wanted to run away screaming like a frightened three-year old.

That was the only porno the blond had shot, the idea of having a camera and a whole crew staring at you the _whole time_ you were fucking didn't settle well with Naruto in the least. So with his virginity gone and his pride whisked away, the new found gay male had gone searching for another job.

And now, that very same movie, _that very same one_, was being downloaded by the god of all phone sex voices and bastards.

"U-um, hmm-ehmh… uh…" the blond tried desperately to find an excuse that would make the asshole not watch the movie so cleverly entitled, "XXX HOT BLOND SEX GOD LOSES HIS VIRGINITY TO TWO HOT KARATE MASTERS XXX" the title was truly cringe worthy with the amount of originality packed into that one sentence.

"What? Is it not going to download or somethi- oh, never mind, it popped up," the line went dead before Naruto could even mumble a goodbye, leaving him stunned and feeling rather exposed and awkward.

What. The hell. Just happened?

Does this mean that this guy was _so_ desperate to see his dirty little "adult film" that he went through the trouble of actually calling in the issue as soon as it happened? After he tried to fix it himself several times? Was the summary of the film _that_ enticing?

Naruto just had to find out. He'd never actually watched the film before, because he figured he didn't need to, he lived through it after all. But now he was curious. Extremely curious. So outrageously curious that he ended up sticking a ruler down his throat to make himself puke (not an easy task when you have basically _no_ gag reflex) to go home early and download his own porno.

As soon as Naruto got home, he all but sprinted into the small den of his itsy bitsy apartment, and turned on his TV to go searching for that oh-so cleverly titled film. He found it almost immediately and cringed at the cover picture.

The picture was of Naruto on his knees with the smaller actor's dick in his mouth, while he was pumping the larger man's dick with one of his hands, as the large man came on his face. The picture was taken at an angle that was eye level with Naruto, who was looking directly into the lens with a dazed and flushed expression, looking freshly fucked and ready for round four. The picture also cut off the two men at their waists, yet they seemed to have made a point of showcasing the blonde's impressive erection that had pre-cum dripping off of it.

To say that it was a lewd photo would be the understatement of the century.

Naruto could see the hickies freshly placed on his skin, the teeth marks, the blood and come dripping from his abused asshole and down his inner thighs, and of course he could see the look of satisfaction and nervousness in his once so innocent blue eyes.

Naruto felt shivers of trepidation run through body, causing a nervous sweat to spread across his tanned flesh. Should he really watch himself as his ass virginity gets taken away? Is he really that curious to see what the guy on the phone would be watching him do?

Yes. He was that curious.

He clicked to play the program with shaky fingers and settled himself on his sofa, not knowing whether or not it would be considered sick to masturbate to a sex tape of yourself.

The film started off with the title and still shots of what was to come, showing the names or aliases of the actors starring in the film. He cringed slightly when the screen read, "Starring _Kitsune_" in big bold letters, his alias in this production of doom.

When the actual film started Naruto had to burry himself under his couch cushions and cover his ears, occasionally peeking out from his pillow castle to steal quick glimpses at the provocative screen. He watched himself get stripped, fingered, blown, and fucked in brief glimpses at the screen, his face glowing red with copious amounts of embarrassment.

When the program ended Naruto felt somewhat violated, he didn't know if it was because of the fact that he'd basically just watched himself get buttfucked into oblivion, or the fact that the bastard on the phone earlier had watched this very same movie, probably jacking off while he was at it.

Naruto just sighed at his misfortune in life and huddled down further into his couch cushion castle for some shut eye.

He had had _many jobs_. Some of them were just more dignified than others.

…

**REVIEW! And tell me what you think about:** whether I should make this a _Naru_Sasu, _Sasu_Naru, or NaruSasuNaru fic. I can't decide! So I'm going to put my fate in your hands and let you perverts pick for me. Hooray for perverts!


	2. Chapter 2: Penguin Suits

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto… or Zac Efron… or Nick Jonas… or High School Musical… but I do have Sasuke trapped in my basement…

**My Beta:** Randomonia21!

**Warning:** A bit of masturbating in this chapter, as well as a semi-steamy shower scene. Besides that, not much, enjoy!

**Before You Read:** Thanks for the great response guys! Keep up the love! I still haven't decided whether or not to make this a NaruSasu or SasuNaru or NaruSasuNaru, but I am leaning more towards NaruSasuNaru or NaruSasu. But fear not! For my mind can still be swayed! So tell me what you want in your wonderful reviews!

On with the fic!

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**Chapter 2: Penguin Suits**

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Naruto was the type of person that (if asked nicely) would always help a pal out in their times of need.

And so being the courteous and benevolent person that Naruto sees himself as, he immediately agreed to ditch his plans for his Saturday night of constant partying and mayhem to be a waiter at an awards ceremony. It was to be held at a prestigious neighboring college for the accomplished 'Deans List' type students, so Naruto wasn't all that thrilled to go. But he agreed to the gig none the less so that his best friend Kiba could go to his long time crushes best friend's birthday party (an affair that Kiba knew his not-so-secret obsession, aka – a girl named Hinata Hyuuga would be at).

Naruto was dressed in proper penguin attire, complete with a bowtie and a smile, serving the oh-so-debonair guests with as much charm as he could muster. The guests indulged in lobster and creme brulee for dessert, the sweet aroma's making Naruto's mouth water in anticipation for the leftovers that would surely be given to the faithful waiters that had worked so very hard that evening.

The dean of the college went up to the stage once the dinner was over, and a hush immediately fell over the crowd of anxious students and teachers. Naruto quietly continued his work of picking up the empty plates and dishes of food, occasionally filling up a nervous soul's water glass that they thanked him gratefully for.

The old dean rambled on and on about the unbelievable work ethic he had witnessed in his student body, boasting happily about how everyone in that room would become productive and helpful members in society once they graduate. Naruto pretended at that moment that he was a member of that prestigious college, stopping for a moment to soak up the praise that wasn't really his at all. But he said _everyone_ in the room didn't he? So he took the praise and continued to clean up the dirty plates with an extra bit of pep to his step.

The dean awarded a few students for their greatness and personal achievements, inviting them up onto the stage to accept a small certificate signifying their excellence and saying a few inspiring words to the small, dressed up audience.

Naruto always liked these kinds of things. Even if he wasn't one of the honored that got to shake hands with the dean, he always liked the look of accomplishment and satisfaction on all their faces. He liked to see happiness in the world around him, especially on the faces of those that deserved it the most.

The gathering of the many dishes finally ended and Naruto parked himself in the back of the room, listening as the dean talked adamantly about a particular student that he was about to invite up, "This young man is one of the most gifted and driven individuals that has ever set foot in our Neuroscience department. He was accepted into this college at the young age of hardly sixteen, and now, at the unheard of age of just twenty, he's now just a semester away from getting his masters degree in Neurochemistry, Neuropsychologist and Neurophysiology. His current research is opening doors to the human mind and capability that we didn't even know existed. I see an incredibly bright future for this particular young genius indeed," the dean paused in his speech for a moment, looking eternally prideful as he searched the crowd for the student that he was talking about.

"Even though I believe everyone already knows who I'm talking about," a laugh of agreement rumbled through the crowd, "I'd like to welcome up the young Sasuke Uchiha, who is by far the most accomplished young person I've had the pleasure of meeting," the applause for this young man was deafening compared to the polite clapping all the other students got.

Naruto was startled by the praise and reaction that this supposed 'wonder student' had gotten. Even as he looked around the room of students, everyone was smiling and muttering adamant praises to themselves or the people next to them. This boy was someone well known and very loved apparently. So Naruto joined in on the applause, feeling out of place because he was virtually the only one that wasn't clapping like some kind of circus seal.

Naruto looked back up and watched as the worshipped student ascended onto the stage, his aura beating down the deans as his very presence seemed to control the room. Even from the far away position that Naruto was in, he could still honestly say that he'd only seen people look that pretty when they were coated in a layer of make-up and photo edited until it wasn't even their face anymore.

He was dressed in a crisp charcoal suit with a red power tie secured neatly at his neck. His hair was black as night and seemed to be styled in a way that better suited a runway show than an awards banquet, but he still pulled the look off with ease. His skin seemed to glow under the stage lights with how pale he was, yet he didn't look unhealthy – he just looked new, like he was an action figure that had never been taken out of his original packaging before.

His bone structure was more girlish than boyish, and with long enough eyelashes that Naruto could easily count each individual one from where he stood, the guy could have easily cross dressed and nobody would've said a word about it.

His expression didn't convey pride in his own accomplishments like all the other student's faces had though. He looked more bored than anything else, maybe a bit exasperated if you squinted just right. His expression greatly caught Naruto off guard, because if he had had all of these people's admiration and approval, he could've died happy.

So with his interest sufficiently peaked, Naruto watched the boy intently as he shook the deans hand, accepted his plaque, then moved to the podium to say a few words to the still applauding audience.

This guy was just Naruto's type, all dark and mysterious, and Naruto just couldn't help himself as his mind went off to fantasize about talking to this pretty young stranger…

"I'd like to thank the dean for this award, as well as my teachers and peers that helped me with my research –" Sasuke's brief 'thank you' speech was cut off by a startled yell sounding from the back of the banquet hall.

"Yo- You're the bastard that called me a dumbass!" Naruto's voice was accusing as his finger shot out to point at the stunned student in front of him. How could Naruto _not_ remember that amazingly silky, uber sexy voice?

A hundred pairs of eyes turned to glare at the shouting waiter that was so very rudely interrupting _the_ Sasuke Uchiha's speech. But among all those confidence shredding glares, the one Naruto was receiving from the Sasuke Uchiha himself was by far the most withering.

He looked down at Naruto with a look impatience and exasperation, like he was more pissed at the idea of being interrupted instead of the actual act itself. Naruto held his ground though; he made it his personal policy to never do anything half assed.

So Naruto glared back with the evidence of his embarrassment creeping up his neck to color his cheeks and ears. The glaring match went on for a total of sixteen seconds before an expression of recognition flitted across Sasuke's face. The smirk that came over his face was so menacing and evil that Naruto felt chills go down his spine.

"Ah, now I remember you," Sasuke leaned forward to rest his elbow on the podium and cup his chin with his palm, "you sure do look different with your clothes on."

Oh no he didn't…

"AH! YOU PERVERT! You're the one that ordered my porno to begin with! And to think that such an unbelievable asshole like you would have such good taste in film!" Naruto fumed as he sped walked up to the front of the stage, waving his still extended finger like an excited child.

"Hn. You call me the pervert, but _I'm_ not the one in the porn industry," Sasuke said condescendingly.

"It was only one time! I was only in a porno _one fucking time_! You wanted to watch me get fucked so badly that you called in the fucking damn ass issue! After trying to fix it yourself! Just admit it you insufferable douche! You want me to fuck you!" the banquet room was still silent as the scene unfolded before them, none of the people in attendance wanting to pull them away from each other because they wanted to see how the scene would play out.

Sasuke just chuckled at Naruto's statement, "I want _you_ to fuck _me_? I think you might be stupider than I thought if you think that's the case. I _don't_ bottom."

"GAH! I'll show you! Suck my fat cock, you little bitch!" and with that, Naruto launched himself at his new foe, leaping onto the stage before tackling the unprepared boy through the podium.

Naruto managed to land a good solid punch on the little pricks ribs before he was hulled away by two giant security guards. Naruto hollered and flailed, but in the end he still got dumped on his ass outside of the banquet hall through the side exit.

"You total _bastard!_ Coward! Prick! Pansy!" Naruto shouted insults as he pounded on the door, huffing angrily as he recognized the fact that he was being ignored.

That asshole! Who does he think he is? Being all smug and condescending like that was just unacceptable! And Naruto would simply not stand for it any longer.

Naruto stalked home in his scuffed up penguin suit, a little black rain cloud seemingly hovering over his steaming head. He slammed the door to his pathetic little apartment and began pacing back and forth to blow off some steam, his nostrils flaring angrily as he recalled the day's events.

The bastard didn't even look happy that he got the biggest award and recognition at the awards ceremony! What an ungrateful douche!

Naruto simply couldn't take the stress and began to strip. His bowtie flying across the room as his shirt flew in the opposite direction.

He rid himself of his confining cloths, breathing a sigh of relief as he finally made it to his shower and turned the thing on hot. And as Naruto continued to picture Sasuke's wonderfully crafted face in his mind, his nether regions began to perk up.

Naruto raised a suspicious eyebrow at his manhood, contemplating whether or not to rub one out to the sultry and infuriating picture in his head, or to simply turn the temperature of the water to ice and watch as his excitement shriveled away.

Hesitantly, Naruto moved his hand down his wet stomach and wrapped it securely around his swollen appendage, taking his body's excitement for what it was – a challenge. So he rose to the occasion, rubbing and tugging at his balls with one hand while the other massaged his long shaft. He battled with his own mind, forcing himself to picture Nick Jonas or Zac Efron like he normally did when he jacked off, instead of a certain Sasuke Uchiha's smug little face.

The battle was futile however, and even visions of a rare High School Musical shirtless scene couldn't compete with the sheer sexiness of Sasuke's phone sex worthy voice. He could still hear the lull of his condescending tone ringing in his ears, still see the lazy shift of onyx eyes, and could still feel the soft pale flesh under his fists when he hit him…

"Ah… AAH-hah-Ah!" Naruto surprised even himself at the speed of which he came, his seed dribbling down the steam covered walls of his shower.

Naruto just shook his head, mumbling something about bastards and their too sexy voices and stupid girly faces.

After his shower, Naruto headed off to his room to sleep, much too tired from his eventful evening of yelling and masturbating to even think about staying up past ten. He flopped onto his messy bed and sighed guiltily as he stared up at his prized possession that he'd taped to the ceiling.

"Don't worry Zac, you'll always hold a special place in my heart," he then kissed his finger tips and extended his hand to his ceiling as a sort of peace offering to the absolutely luscious poster of a rather scarcely clad young man.

_Look out Zac, a new guy is coming to town…_

…

**Review! Tell me what you think about: **I really like the idea of making this a NaruSasu or SasuNaruSasu (but fear not! SasuNaru is still in the running), cause in my mind Sasuke is _always_ gonna be a whiney little bitch with a small dick… eheh… I wonder where that came from…

**AND** tell me where you want them to meet next: The grocery store? In a yoga class? At a coffee shop? Feel free to give me some of your own ideas as well XD Feed my imagination!

**PS: **Go look up** "Zac Efron shirtless" **on google images… trust me, it's worth it XD


	3. Chapter 3: Downward Dog

**For the SASUnaru lovers out there reading this: ****Yes, **this is going to be a** narusasu. BUT! **I have some popular stories that are _extremely_** sasunaru. **So if you like my writing style, but can't stomach the thought of Naruto fucking Sasuke up the butt, then **check out these stories on my profile: ****Sugar Daddy **(my most popular story as of yet with over a hundred reviews for the first three chapters) and **Anything to Make You Stay **(my first yaoi fic that's basically complete except for the epilogue).** So please go check out those stories if you don't want to continue with this one (feel free to keep reading this one though, who knows, you might end up liking it!), thanks for the support! **

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto… although… Sasuke is chained to my bed with Kiba… lucky me!

**My Beta:** Randomonia21!

**Warning:** A smidgen of molestation.

**Before You Read:** Thanks for the continued support guys! I think this chapter pretty much shows the pairing that I've decided on… Go NARUsasu!

**P.S.** I'm sorry this took so long to update. I've been traveling a lot this summer so I seriously haven't had time to write at all, so I made this chapter extra long to make it up to you guys. Plus when I am home I'm working all day at my AMAZING aquarium job (ten extra brownie points go to whoever guesses the aquarium I work at! Hint: we have real kelp in our exhibits and have a snazzy sea otter program…)

On with the fic!

…

**Chapter 3: Downward Dog**

…

"Good morning class! My name is Naruto and I'll be your yoga instructor today since your usual instructor is sick," It was a Monday morning, and since Naruto didn't have class until later in the afternoon, he helped out at the local fitness center as another one of his part time jobs.

Today, the usual advanced yoga instructor was home with the flu, and being the helpful guy that he was, Naruto said that he'd step in. He _was_ a yoga ninja after all.

The class of advanced yoga students gave him a few greetings before they all set up their mats and yoga blocks facing their substitute instructor, some of them already jumping into their breathing exercises.

Naruto took a seat on his mat before them and assumed the lotus position, his legs tangled up into a pretzel looking shape as they stacked themselves on top of each other.

"Alright class, let's start off by going into a relaxed sitting position. I'm doing the lotus, but if you want to do another sitting pose that's fine too," the class followed his instructions, and he began to lead them into some breathing exercises, "Breath in through your nose," Naruto almost laughed when he heard the whole class do as he commanded, "and let it out through your mouth," the class exhaled in unison – much to Naruto's infinite delight – and Naruto continued leading them through the relaxation part of their work out.

The much too happy instructor closed his eyes as he indulged in the exercise along with the rest of the class, feeling his shoulders relax and his mind slow down from its usual speedy processing of events. He felt good. He felt at peace. He felt at ease.

Until the door at the back of the studio made a loud and echoing clunking as a fellow yoga enthusiast came into the class late. Naruto huffed a bit and opened one eye to see the person that dared to disturb him when he was in the middle of an important intake of breath. But the guy seemed to be as quick as he was disrupting and seemed to have taken a seat already among his fellow vegan, tree humping friends… the sneaky bastard, why couldn't he use that much finesse when entering Naruto's prestigious classroom?

Naruto looked over all the people in the room, noting that they were all relatively older then he was. He scanned over the faces; nobody caught his interest in particular though, until he reached a face that could have come right out of a magazine… and his own personal hell.

Pitch black hair that framed a porcelain face and stuck up slightly in the back, a clingy maroon shirt and blessedly tight sweat pants. His eyes were closed and his long eyelashes rested upon his smooth cheeks. His body looked wonderfully built, all lean muscle that peaked from beneath the thin fabric of his shirt… Naruto gulped loudly, his mouth suddenly very dry.

Of course Sasuke (aka: the bastard) had to become suddenly fascinated with the peace bringing exercise known as yoga. Was he stalking Naruto or what? How many coincidental meetings could they have in a month anyway? First the tech help job, then the banquet, and now the yoga studio?

An uncomfortable shuffling noise drew Naruto from his livid thoughts and he quickly looked about the room full of blue and purple people and finally noticed his mistake, "And breath out!" the relieved gasps from the budding yogis around him made him want to hit himself. How long had he been spacing out while starring at that awful (handsome) guy?

Shaking his head slightly Naruto said, "Okay, let's move into the child's pose," the class did as they were told, folding their legs beneath them and resting their foreheads on their mats while their arms rested by their sides.

Naruto had got a lot of grief from Kiba about fucking up his catering job and didn't want to piss off another one of his friends because he turned his yoga class into a kick boxing demo (a certain dark haired demon serving the role as an unwilling volunteer). Plus, Naruto hadn't had the misfortune of seeing the bastard in a little over three weeks, so he had had at least a little time to cool his head before their present reunion.

Sasuke himself seemed to be completely oblivious as to who it was teaching the class. He was simply following along with the poses that Naruto was commanding the class to perform; acting like Naruto wasn't the guy that assaulted him while he was up on stage accepting an award.

So with all the control that Naruto could possibly muster, he averted his gaze from his infuriating student, trying to scrounge up some of the inner peace that he'd found before the bastard had so rudely interrupted his class.

"Now bring your arms forward, reaching as far as you can without compromising your position," Naruto led the class through a few more simple poses and stretches to get them all limbered up for the advanced portion of the class, stealing a glance here and there at the little (sexy) devil in the back of the room.

"From this position, let's go into downward facing dog," the class followed through seamlessly, and Naruto couldn't help but to get into _some_ mischief.

"I'm going to come around to check your poses, so keep your arms strong and reach your heels as close to the ground as you can," he got up and tried not to show the plotting smirk on his face.

He gently corrected some people, lightly putting his hands on them and fixing their posture, trying to quell his excitement as he works his way closer to the back of the room, closer to his goal. The bastard was so unsuspecting, bent over with his ass so beautifully displayed like that… had he not noticed that he was a part of Naruto's class?

But as Naruto began to swoop down on his (succulent) prey, he realized a glitch in his perfect plan- the asshole's posture is perfect. Easily the best in the class, his heels pressed firmly to the ground and his arms and back creating a perfect straight line to the floor.

He pouts for a moment before thinking up another step to his master plan, "Alright guys, looking good. Now let's bring our right leg as high as you can without twisting your torso too much," the class complies and Naruto watches with almost baited breath as the (attractive) boy before him lifted his leg to a perfect split without compromising the original position at all.

'_Damn,'_ Naruto thought as a little string of drool made its way down his chin. _'This guy must be freaking Gumby!' _But Naruto is not one to give up! He led the class through the hardest yoga positions he knew, more than half of them crumbling under their own weight as they tried to keep up with their instructors expectations.

By the time Naruto got desperate enough to command the class to do a head stand, only a hand full of seasoned yogis are able to pull it off, most of the others just going back into child's pose to relax their aching muscles. The dick's shirt rode up in this pose, exposing his toned and creamy flesh to Naruto's prying eyes. Oh, the things he could do to this guy…

When he goes try the full pose there's finally – _finally_ – a sign of hesitation when Sasuke tries to shift his weight to one of his hands to balance, not quite being able to perform the stance without some support. Naruto collapsed from his own head stand and ninja rolled over to his struggling student, passing by the one's that really needed his help.

"Here, I can hold your waist while you find your balance," his voice was more gruff then he intended it to be, but as soon as his calloused hands gripped his students hips – he was utterly smitten.

Sasuke stiffened in his hold, making no move to perform the pose instructed. Naruto kept his mouth shut, vaguely aware of his southern regions acting up with every unsteady wobble the boy in his hands made. Naruto let his hands wonder a bit, mumbling senseless nonsense about relaxing this muscle here and tightening this one there. He felt the sides of his strong thighs, dared himself to be man enough to touch the delicate white flesh of his sculpted back, and somehow found an excuse to lightly skim a singular digit over the boy's clenched buttocks. _'Lovely.'_

They must have stayed like that for awhile – minutes, hours, days – because by the time this beautiful boy's arms started to shake and shiver beneath him, the rest of the class was looking on in awe at the ridiculous pose that was still being held.

"Let me down now," half growled, half panted Sasuke in a voice like flowing water.

Oh how Naruto had missed that voice…

"Whatever you say bastard," was his mature response as he dropped his stabilizing hands and watched in far too much amusement as Sasuke crumpled to the floor with little to no poise or grace in his movements.

Before the steaming bastard could make a retort, Naruto addressed the class, "Well, that's it for today guys. Expect to see your regular instructor here on Wednesday instead of me."

A few mumbled 'thank yous' were directed at Naruto as the class of abused and sore yogi's made their way out of the class rubbing their newly sore muscles. Naruto just waved happily as they all left, feeling a death glare trying to set the hair on the back of his head on fire.

When the last student left Naruto sighed and turned towards a very sinister looking Uchiha, offering up a taunting grin in return.

"What the fuck is your problem anyways?" was the clipped and angry remark that left a pair of pursed lips in a growl that went straight to Naruto's groin.

"What's _my_ problem? You're the one who's stalking me, bastard!" the boy snorted at that, rolling his eyes in a way that made Naruto want to grit his teeth.

"Don't flatter yourself idiot. You're nothing more than an annoying bug that I'd like squash into the pavement," the haughty tone made Naruto feel the urge to pummel the little prick into the floor.

"You're so mean! Jeez, it's like I'm talking to Regina George or something!"

"_Wow_ you're gay. Did you _really_ just reference Mean Girls in the middle of our argument?"

Naruto's jaw dropped, he couldn't _believe_ he just pulled the gay card with him, "If anything you're a hell of a lot gayer than I am! I mean just _look_ at those pants! And your hair is _way_ too perfect for simply going to the gym for a workout!"

"Uh-huh, says the one who participated quite enthusiastically in a gay threesome."

"THAT WAS ONE TIME! Why do you keep bringing that up anyway? You jealous of my dick or something? Because you're never going to get your hands on it!"

"Hn, I thought you told me to 'suck your fat cock' the last time we spoke, if I remember correctly." The air quotes were certainly _not_ needed if you asked Naruto.

"Well you'd probably suck at it anyway. You're way too much of a tight assed bastard to enjoy something as perfectly wonderful as my dick anyways," Naruto folded his arms and pouted slightly when he felt his cheeks heat up at the abrupt turn their conversation had taken.

Sasuke took one slow step forward and smirked up at the huffy blond in front of him, "Like you could ever get me to submit to you," the sentence came out as more of purr than a condescending remark, the bedroom voice making Naruto's heart (and his cock) stir in surprise.

A voice that sexy just _had_ to be a sin.

Sasuke stepped past the stunned Naruto and rolled up his mat to leave. Just as the infuriating bastard opened the studio door to leave, Naruto snapped out of his momentary stupor, whipping around and yelling as loud as he possibly could, "CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!" his promise leaving his lips to echo loudly through the entirety of the gym just before the door slammed shut.

Naruto sighed loudly collapsed onto the studio floor with a loud 'thud' echoing about the empty room. How could one person be so incredibly infuriating? It was like Sasuke was just designed to make Naruto want to commit murder (and some other – _more provocative_ – crimes as well).

A few minutes of silence passed whale Naruto laid there brooding about his misfortune in life before the studio door slammed, announcing the arrival of someone else coming into the room.

Naruto lifted his head to glare at whoever dared to interrupt his thinking time, "What do you want Ino?"

The gorgeous girl just scowled at him, putting her hands on her delicate hips, "What I want is for you to stop yelling and get your sexy ass back out onto the floor to help push the less motivated in life. So get your butt out here!"

Naruto just rolled his eyes at his best friend's antics, she could be a real handful sometimes, "I take it you finally got Shikamaru to the gym?" he asked as he pushed himself up off the cold, hard wood floor to ruffle Ino's perfect platinum blond hair.

Ino made a little noise of disgruntlement at the action and put her hands up to check and make sure that her cheer leader ponytail and long silken bangs were still in place. Ino was a very vain person, and she recognized that as a fact just as she acknowledged that the sky was indeed blue. She took the chance to show off her body whenever she got the chance, being a big fan of going for runs around their college campus in nothing but itty bitty running shorts and a neon sports bra.

"As a matter of fact, I did. But now all he wants to do is take a nap in the exercise ball crate!" Ino whined, stamping her foot a bit to emphasize her disgruntled mood.

Naruto just laughed at his friend's predicament. Ino had always had a thing for really huge, 'muscle-man' type guys that looked as if their biceps would burst if they flexed too hard. But then along came Shikamaru, the lazy genius she'd met through Naruto about a year ago, and fell head over heels in love with the string bean.

Ino had somehow made it her personal mission to help her beloved boyfriend bulk up, because although she loved the guy she still had a thing for eight pack abs and calf muscles that were bigger than her head.

Shikamaru was a lazy person however, and had long since mastered the art of sleeping in public places. He loathed physical activity to the point of preferring to _crawl_ places rather than walk, an act that got him quite the earful if he was out with his darling girlfriend.

Still, the only thing that Shikamaru hated more than working out was seeing his precious girlfriend unhappy, so he went to the gym about three times a week to take naps in new and innovative places every time he came. Constant supervision was needed if any sweat was to be shed.

Naruto sighed and leaned forward just enough to be able to get enough leverage to pull Ino down to the floor to lie there with him, wrapping his muscular arms around the squawking girl so that she couldn't wriggle her slight body away from him.

"Okay, fine! What is it Boojins?" Ino's voice was muffled by the fabric of Naruto's shirt, and her use of her favorite nickname for her fellow blond told Naruto that she knew something was up.

Boojins was actually the nickname of Ino's cat back at her home, and somehow the name had gradually transferred over to Naruto as their friendship grew more concrete overtime. Naruto himself had become accustomed to the strange nickname, liking the originality of the made up word/nickname and the variety of shortenings that the nickname had attached to it, such as Boo, Booj, Booga-boo, and Boofus. Naruto responded seamlessly to them all.

"You know that guy that ordered my porno and that I sort of tackled at that awards banquet thingy?" Ino squirmed enough in Naruto's grip that she was able to rest her chin on his chest and watch him with her sharp, ice blue eyes.

When Ino didn't respond Naruto kept going, still staring at the ceiling, "Well… I sort of touched his butt during yoga class just now, and – " but Naruto never got to finish that sentence.

"You WHAT?! Oh my _gawd_, you did not! You said he was devilishly handsome right?"

"No Ino, I _said_ that he was the devil hiding behind a combination of good hair and a great skin routine."

Ino waved him off, "Same difference Boo! So what happened after that? Did he recognize you? I guess it would be understandable if he didn't, but how many people forget the person that tackles you off of the stage when you're in the middle of getting an award? Oh, I really want to meet him now! What's his name anyways? Is it sexy? Or is it something totally dork-tastic like Bernard or something?"

Naruto pouted at Ino's reaction; couldn't she see he was in the middle of a crisis here?

"No Ino, it's not _Bernard_ or something stupid like that. His name is… his names Sasuke Uchiha –" Naruto was again cut off by his squished confident.

"UWAAAH?! NO FUCKING WAY! ARE YOU SHITTIN' ME? ARE YA?" Ino had somehow managed to escape Naruto's death grip and was straddling his chest while she shook him by the collar of his shirt.

"Fuck! Ino! Why would I be shittin' you? What's the big deal anyways? AND STOP SHAKING ME WOMAN!" Ino stopped her shaking but kept her firm grip on his collar. For such a petite girl, she was rather vicious if she had to be.

"What's the big deal!? WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?! Where the hell have you been all this time? How can you not know who this guy is?"

Naruto tapped his chin for a moment before he said, "Well shit Ino, am I _supposed_ to know who this guy is? I mean, I know that he's a super duper smart and good-looking jackass, but that's not a good enough reason for everyone to know who he is right?"

Ino just gave him an exasperated glare, "Tell me Naruto, who else but 'super duper smart and good-looking' people are famous?"

"Hey! You forgot to add on the 'jackass' at the end! Ouch!" Naruto rubbed the spot on his arm where Ino slugged him.

"Could you be more out of the loop? Jeez, I swear Naruto; sometimes I wonder just what goes on inside that big dumb head of yours."

"Would you just fill me in already? I'm sorry I'm not more 'in the loop'. I'll start watching more Gossip Girl after this, I promise." Ino cracked a smile at Naruto's bad joke before flicking him lightly in the forehead and rolling off his stomach to sit beside him.

"Where do I even begin this tale…" Ino furrowed her brow a bit in concentration and folded her arms, looking like she was contemplating the mysteries of the universe, "Sasuke comes from the Uchiha family, and has one older brother. His father is the CEO of a large pharmaceutical company, so they're pretty well off and well known. He has a cold and professional personality, and is rumored to not take anyone seriously unless they have their doctorates, so the fact that he even wasted his breath bickering with you comes as a surprise to me. He's a total genius and is making leaps and bounds in the neuroscience field with his research; because of this, he appears quite frequently in the local and national News. Not to mention the guy is sexy as all hell!"

"I thought you didn't like scrawny guys." Naruto teased.

"Shut up Naruto! Sasuke is the exception to the rule. Plus, if anything you've told me is true, then he's most definitely gay, so it's not like I had a chance with him anyway."

Naruto just furrowed his brows a bit in quiet contemplation, "So, he's smart, rich, and good looking –"

"And only twenty years old – " Ino added.

Naruto pushed himself up with a big heavy sigh and extended his hand to help Ino up too, "So he's basically perfect… what's the big deal?"

Ino just rolled her eyes at her BFF and grabbed his hand to lead him over to where her boyfriend was still snoozing in the exercise ball crate.

While Naruto pulled an unconscious Shikamaru from his new napping spot, his thoughts began to wonder. Naruto himself was enrolled in a pretty decent school, although it was nothing compared to Sasuke's Ivy League one, and was in his second year of college at the age of twenty-six (not because he failed classes, but because he took his time applying to college and working at some pretty obscure places) and was working at getting his bachelor's degree Psychology with a minor in Social Work. Naruto wasn't so much interested in MRI scans as he was interested in helping someone through a tough spot in their lives. But the fact that both he and Sasuke studied the mind was an interesting little tidbit in Naruto's opinion.

Naruto absentmindedly turned up the speed on the treadmill Shikamaru was forced onto and zoned off with his finger on the button, causing the poor skinny bastard to get flung off the end. Naruto didn't notice his mistake though, the track on the treadmill speeding up exponentially as his finger rested on the button, too lost in his thoughts to even care that one of his friends was nursing a bruised tailbone.

Naruto didn't really see himself as being on the same level as Sasuke, and that put the man in a sour mood. Sasuke was unlike anyone he's ever met before. He was ungrateful, pompous, rude, a serious piece of eye candy, and as gifted as they come.

The two were worlds apart, but the distance between them was gradually growing smaller.

…

**Review! Tell me what you think about: **I have decided to make this a NARUsasu (with the possibility of one or two sasunaru scenes thrown in just for kicks) so I'm REALLY REALLY REALLY SORRY to those of you out there that wanted this to turn into a SASUnaru! I still encourage you sasunaru lovers out there to continue to read this fic though, it would make me happy! But tell me: Did I make the right decision in making this a NaruSasu?

**AND** tell me where you want them to meet next: The doctor's office? In a spa? At a fancy restaurant? I always love reader ideas as well, so feel free to think of a place yourself!

**P.S.** If you doubt my lemon skills I recently posted a NARUsasu one shot called "Headphones" and so far it's gotten a great response. So please check that out if you're interested! Love you all and I'm sorry if I disappointed anyone!


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